Reasons Why Bates Was Crying
by digthatshizz
Summary: The trailer freaked us all out. Here is a take on why Bates might have been crying, followed by some naughty goings on in the boot room. Pure fluff.


**I set the challenge on Tumblr, before deciding to meet it myself. Boot room smut, Banna style. Thanks to my editor in chief as always. This one is for you. **

**Disclaimer:** Downton and all it entails belongs to Julian Fellowes/ITV/Carnival

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John stood in the corner of the ballroom, his face emotionless as the hustle and bustle went on around him. He enjoyed the opera singer enough, but the dancing that ensued afterwards, servants invited to join those upstairs in the festivities, was not as favourable. He felt like a spare part as he looked on over the happy couples waltzing their way around the room. The overriding reason for his discontent was his inability to join in, in particular that he wasn't able to share a dance with his wife.

It seemed Mr Green was a worthy replacement however. Green. Lord Gillingham's valet. John had instantly taken a dislike to him ever since he had first come to stay. He truly believed his negative feelings towards the man weren't unfounded. He had taken a shine to Anna, that much was for sure. The way Mr Green looked at her, the secret smiles. He knew because it was the same expressions and sly looks he himself had shared with Anna ever since John had known her.

Anna was always so polite to each and every person she met. She had a kind nature, it was one of the qualities John loved most about his wife. Occasionally, he wondered if Anna's head might be turned. Mr Green was exactly the type of man Anna should be spending her life with. He had observed them together. They enjoyed each other's company, sometimes sharing a laugh together, or an intent conversation. John's fears were always completely forgotten about as soon as they arrived home in the evening. The way she came to him each and every night, how could John even contemplate Anna might be interested in another man?

However, tonight wasn't proving to be beneficial to easing his fears. Anna loved to dance, a smile was always evident on her face whenever she did so. She seemed completely transfixed by her dance partner as he waltzed her around the room. Shaking his head, trying to convince himself it was all in his imagination, he tried to distract himself by joining in with a discussion between Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson. Mrs Hughes acknowledged his presence first, adjusting her position to allow John into the conversation before Mr Carson was called away by Thomas.

'Mr Bates, are you enjoying events this evening?' Mrs Hughes asked, her face glowing with a friendly smile before turning her head to watch Mr Carson walk away.

'Yes thank you, Mrs Hughes,' John replied, none too convincingly, his gaze solely fixed on his wife. The housekeeper noticed this, she too turning her attention to Anna and Mr Green.

'I understand this must be difficult for you,' Mrs Hughes offered, placing a hand on John's wrist. 'But at least Anna has found someone to dance with this evening.'

'Yes,' John nodded before clearing his throat. It was becoming too much, watching another man share such an intimate moment with his wife, one which he never would. Mr Green's hand splayed confidently on Anna's hips, their hands clasped together tightly, hardly a sliver of daylight between them. John needed to get out. 'Excuse me, Mrs Hughes.'

With a quick glance to Anna, John closed his eyes and turned his head before making his way out of the ballroom. Moving towards the servants quarters as fast as his feet would carry him, John's mind was full of a thousand thoughts. A thousand regrets. How he longed to be the man Anna deserved. It should be him who should be holding Anna in his arms. Moving together with her in perfect sync, the music fading into the background as one became lost in the other.

As he passed through the entrance to the servants hall, suddenly an emotion passed through him. A feeling of sadness. Despair. He felt like half a man, like such a disappointment to his wife. He couldn't dance with Anna, and seeing her in the arms of someone who could, someone as dashing as Mr Green made him feel incredibly despondent. He would never be able to give her everything she wanted. And it hurt.

It came as a surprise to him as he felt a stinging in the back of his eyes. He couldn't keep his tears from falling as his body slumped, the wall keeping him upright until it's resistance disappeared and he slid to sit on the step he had been standing on. Openly sobbing now, John let his cane fall from his grasp as he rested his head in his hands.

Almost as soon as it had begun, John suddenly realised where he was. Outside the servants hall. Anyone could walk through the door behind him at any time. Proprietary got the better of him. Rising to his feet, John limped down the corridor, completely disregarding his cane as he raced towards the back door, keen to not be discovered in his current state.

Once in the courtyard, John looked to the heavens as he let the cool air of the evening engulf him, clear his senses. His mind was filled to the brim with the image of Green's hand on Anna's hip, their eyes locked on each other. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Noticing a stack of crates behind him, John manoeuvred his way and slowly sat himself down. He stared out across the courtyard, a glistening on the ground catching his eye. He soon recognised the offending item to be Thomas's cigarette tin. The under butler must have dropped them earlier on.

Having been a heavy smoker before he met Anna, he found them to help him through the stresses being married to Vera would often bring. All he knew, was that in the present circumstances he was finding them too difficult to resist, staring at the way the moonlight danced upon the tin like a lion stalking it's prey. Thomas wouldn't miss one, surely. As John stood up, he found it incredibly convenient to find matches in his pocket, left there from when he lit some candles at the cottage the night before. Bending down for the tin, he took it in his grasp before moving himself back to the crates.

Opening the tin. John was relieved to find it relatively full. Thomas wouldn't miss one cigarette. Just as he was about to light up, he heard the familiar sound of the servants hall door open. Quickly pulling the cigarette from his mouth and looking over his shoulder, he didn't expect the person interrupting his moment of solitude to be Lady Rose. John watched as she folded her arms before looking to the heavens.

Ever since she had come to Downton, John had been rather fond of Lady Rose. She was outgoing, and displayed an independent streak he admired. Often she would come down to the servants hall to share conversations with the young maids, her excuse being there was no one else in the house her age, anyone who shared the same interests. He would talk with her occasionally, she showing an interest in his experiences from the war. John found her easy to talk to, she was a wonderful listener. Lady Rose was also in absolute awe of Anna and John loved to hear his wife spoken about in such glowing terms.

She noticed him then, her eyes upon him causing John to start a little. Immediately rising to his feet, his smile was uneasy as she approached him.

'Please, sit Bates.' John did as he was instructed, Rose now standing directly beside him. She was looking at the tin in his hand before looking at a small space beside him on the crates he was sitting upon. 'May I?'

'Of course.' John replied a little uncertainly. He shuffled over a little before Rose placed herself down beside him.

'And would it be terribly forward of me to ask for one of those?' Her eyes were looking at the item he clutched in his hand. John furrowed his brow before looking into her face to see if she was serious.

'A cigarette?' He opened the tin and offered it to her, she taking one between her fingers before meeting his gaze. 'Have you got any matches?'

John preceded to light the lady's cigarette before lighting one for himself. This was certainly something he didn't think he would be doing this evening. Sharing a smoke with a lady of the house in the courtyard. Placing the tin back in his pocket, he watched as she exhaled a cloud of smoke before she started to chuckle slightly.

'Oh, I am such a fool Bates. How could I think he was actually interested in me? Someone as worldly as him?'

'I'm probably not the best man to confide in on such matters, m'lady,' John answered shuffling awkwardly.

'Well, you certainly fell on your feet when it came to choosing someone to share your life with Bates. Anna is an amazing woman.'

Flicking some ash to the floor, John searched for a reason to change the subject. 'Tell me if I am speaking out of turn, but why would a lady like yourself come out here?'

Rose looked to him, smiling slightly as she considered his question for a moment. 'I simply saw you leaving and wanted to make sure you were alright.'

'Really, m'lady?' John's expression was one of a bewildered man now, opening his mouth to voice his confusion before Lady rose began to speak again.

'I'm not like the rest of the family. I like to think myself in touch with the servants. The only difference between us is I was lucky enough to be born into a life of privilege. We are all only people after all.'

John let out a small laugh then, never having heard such notions fall from the lips of a member of the upper classes. John speculated Lady Rose's cousins would certainly never voice such an idea. He took a long drag on his cigarette before uttering his response.

'What a refreshing attitude you have, my lady. And in my opinion, any one of your suitors would be lucky to have such a free thinking woman to pursue.'

'Thank you, Bates. You're very kind.' Looking down, John was surprised to see Lady Rose's hand upon his, caressing the skin there gently. Her voice was tender, her breathing coming in small gasps. 'If only everybody shared your opinion. Perhaps Anna is the lucky one to have found herself such a caring husband. '

Before John had time to fully process her hand upon his, Lady Rose was leaning closer towards him, staring deeply into his eyes. It was if he was experiencing this moment watching from the outside in as she pressed her lips to his. As soon as he registered the touch of her mouth on his he jumped from the crates, nearly stumbling as he tried to regain his balance.

'Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry Bates.' Lady Rose's voice was almost a shriek as John stood up, dropping his cigarette to the floor and stamping on it. He was visibly shocked as he ran a trembling hand through his hair. 'I don't know what came over me.'

'It's quite alright, M'lady,' John whispered, watching as she herself rose to her feet.

'It's just, compliments aimed in my direction are few and far between.' She was shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other, her own cigarette now laying discarded on the floor. 'I just mistook it for...'

'I am deeply in love with my wife, m'lady. My words were simply to make you feel better, not to...' His voice trailed off as he met Lady Rose's gaze. 'Let's just not speak of it again.'

'Thank you, Bates. I should go.'

'I think that would be best.'

As quick as the wind now circling around them, Lady Rose disappeared inside, slamming the door behind her. Almost as soon as she had left, John looked to the door as it swung open once again.

'John?'

It was Anna, clutching his cane in her hands. John shut his eyes, knowing Anna must have seen Rose running back into the house.

'What's going on? Why did you leave the ballroom? I have been looking for you everywhere.'

Relieved her line of questioning didn't start with why he was down here with Lady Rose, John took his cane from her grasp as she reached him. Her brow was glistening, clearly her exertions in the ball room taking their toll. Her breathing was sharp as she stared at his face, clearly expecting an answer from him. Letting out a deep sigh, John decided to tell the truth.

'I was feeling sorry for myself, that's all.'

'Sorry for yourself?' Anna shrugged, her confusion manifested in the creasing of her forehead. 'Why on earth would you feel like that?'

Averting his gaze from Anna's to look beyond her, he struggled with himself to find a way to articulate his feelings before his wonderful, beautiful Anna did so for him.

'Is this because you couldn't dance with me?'

John immediately turned his attentions back to her, looking deep into her eyes and instantly feeling the love he found there.

'Yes,' he replied weakly. 'And seeing you with Green only made me feel worse.'

'Oh John, not this again.' Anna ran a hand across her forehead, sighing deeply. 'I thought I had told you I feel nothing for him.'

'I know, but I saw you dancing with him. How close you were standing together. And you couldn't avert your eyes from him. It should have been me.'

'John...'

'You enjoy to dance so much. Then it dawned on me I am never going to share something as simple as a dance with you. And Green was, and I couldn't bear to watch. His hand on your hip, your hand in his. It made me feel sick. And I'm ashamed to say, jealous.'

'You have no reason to be jealous, John. It took me long enough to be with you in the way in which I wanted. Why would I do anything to jeopardise that?'

Anna's words were so sincere, as they always were when she spoke about their relationship. She was so passionate and full of conviction. Suddenly remembering what had happened before, it came to his attention that something had occurred which contradicted his own fears.

'Why was Lady Rose down here?'

Again, it was if she could read his mind. John was going to have to tell her, he had already kept enough secrets from her in their relationship.

'This is what makes my concerns so stupid. So hypocritical.' John took Anna's hands in his, raising them to his hands and placing a soft kiss upon her knuckles. His voice was barely a whisper as he spoke. 'She kissed me.'

'What?' Anna's laugh was incredulous in response to her husbands admission. Lady Rose kissed her husband. The idea of it seemed absurd as she tried to imagine it.

'I pushed her away, I in no way kissed her back. Please believe me.'

Whatever he expected her reaction to be, it wasn't what unfolded as Anna began to giggle uncontrollably.

'What's so funny?' John's voice showed no hint of the amusement his wife was displaying. 'I thought you'd be upset.'

'From what I hear, husband, you aren't the first older man she has set her sights on. So I wouldn't feel flattered if I were you.'

'Doesn't it bother you that she kissed me?'

As her laughter died down, Anna looked up into her husband's face. 'Was it a proper kiss?'

Replaying the moment over in his mind, John had to admit it was the briefest of pecks. 'Well, no...'

'And you didn't kiss her back?'

'Of course not, Anna...'

'Then, it doesn't bother me.' Anna interrupted, before placing a hand on his chest. 'And do you know why?' John shrugged his shoulders, Anna rolled her eyes in response. 'Because I am safe in the knowledge that you belong to me. As you should be that I am yours.' Anna wrapped her arms around John's shoulders. 'Only yours.'

She crushed her lips against his then, leaving him in doubt that with him was where her devotion lay.

'I'm sorry,' John breathed, resting his forehead against Anna's. 'It's just Green is young and fit, and you both moved so well together on the floor, you only had eyes for each other and...'

John was stopped by Anna's finger on his lips. 'I was simply being polite. I want you. It's always been you. No one else.' She arched her eyebrows before adding, 'Mr Bates, you seem to forget how well we move together.'

Images of their evenings alone in their own cottage suddenly flooded John's mind. These added to the candour in her voice, it took all the strength he could muster not to take things further there and then in the courtyard.

'You'll just have to remind me when we get home this evening.'

She didn't reply for a moment, John was sure she was concocting some sort of plan. The smile that spread across her face was breathtaking, her eyes were almost dancing as they met his.

'You know, no one is going to be coming down here for a little while. The Dowager was just dragging Mr Carson onto the floor for a dance as I left to find you.'

'What are you insinuating, Mrs Bates?'

'If servant balls of the past are anything to go by, she wont let him escape until they have shared at least three dances.'

'Right...'

'We won't be disturbed by any of the other servants, how many opportunities do they get to spend time upstairs? And we won't be needed by either Lady Mary or His Lordship for another hour or so yet. '

'No...' Scepticism was evident in John's tone as he hung on his wife's every word.

Anna took him by the lapels then, moving him closer so he was snug against her. 'Maybe we could use the time to our advantage. I think we could find something to do that would leave each other in no doubt as to our feelings.'

'Anna, you can't...'

'Why wait until we get home?' She moved her hands to the back of his neck, brushed her lips against his before continuing. 'I want you now.'

John knew he couldn't refuse her anything she wanted when she looked at him in the way in which she was now. Everything she was saying was correct, the likelihood was they wouldn't be caught. In the next moment, Anna had taken hold of his hand and was leading him inside. John was lost for words as she looked back over her shoulder at him, her eyes dark, her lips smiling seductively.

No words had been spoken as they reached the boot room, Anna carefully opening the door. Switching on the light, she was relieved to find it was relatively clean. As soon as Anna heard John shut the door behind them, she felt a hand on her waist, the warmth of his breath on her neck rendering coherent thought fruitless. She turned in his arms, John's hand instinctively moving its way downwards, pulling her closer to him. As his cane clattered against the stone floor, their lips met, John taking it upon himself to lift Anna so she was sitting on the table in the middle of the room. Wrapping her hands around his shoulders once more, Anna could already sense familiar feelings resonating within her, feelings she had only ever experienced with John. She was certain no man could ever evoke such emotion within her for as long as she lived. Reluctantly breaking their kiss, Anna shrugged his jacket from his shoulders, letting it fall to floor.

His hands had moved to begin hitching up her skirts, Anna lifting her hips from the table to assist. John turned his attentions to Anna's neck, lavishing kisses upon the skin there as he lowered her undergarments. Everything that was happening was instinctual. John loved the occasions when they would take their time, exploring each other's bodies, savouring every moment. Yet he could sense this wasn't one of those times. Tonight was fuelled by desire. It was almost as if because of earlier events, they needed to reaffirm their love for each other by engaging in this one act that was unique to them. The thought that John would be the only person to know Anna in this way thrilled him more than he could ever express in words.

As she now lay bare, John could already feel the heat emanating from her through his clothing as he stood close to her. Knowing her as only a husband could know his wife, he moved a hand to touch her, gasping as he came into contact with her blistering heat. John could tell she was ready for him, the words that she breathed in the next instant were not really necessary but sent his pulse racing all the same.

'Make love to me, John.'

It was all the invitation his needed as he unbuttoned his own trousers, allowing them to fall to the floor before his shorts followed. Anna took his length in her hands, John hissing at the contact. Guiding him to where she so desperately needed to be, she clutched onto his shoulders as John entered her, enveloping himself in her warmth. Anna wrapped her legs around his hips, instantly taking him deeper. Their groans were in perfect harmony as they adjusted to being joined once again.

'Christ,' John gasped, looking into Anna's half lidded eyes. 'You are perfect.'

'Come on, Mr Bates,' Anna whispered, lightly pressing her lips to John's. 'Show me just what a good mover you are...'

As his hips began to move, John knew it wouldn't take long for him to be spent. Deepening the kiss he and Anna were now sharing, he found her centre with the fingers that had spent the past year learning her. He had her body memorised, the image of it engrained on his memory. Anna arched her back in response, pulling away from his kiss, her eyes tightly closed as he found the bundle of nerves that would soon be her undoing.

'God, I love you,' Anna exhaled, raising her hips to meet the rhythm John had built up.

'I love you too, Anna.' John whispered in her ear, his hips slowing as his fingers continued their movements. The sound of him voicing her name at such a time sent her soaring even closer to the edge. 'I am certain there is not a more beautiful sight than the way you look right now.'

In the next moment she was undone, shuddering against his fingers as wave after wave of pleasure engulfed her, threatening to overwhelm as she collapsed against him. John held her close, letting her come back down to earth. He was hard and aching inside her, desperate to move yet as always had been the case, events would materialise in a manner with which Anna was comfortable. And then, again as if he needed any more proof that this woman he held in his arms was perfect for him, she gave him more reason to believe it was the case.

'Please continue.'

Beginning to rock his hips once more, Anna kissed John's cheek before trailing her lips down to his neck. John's movements were becoming more erratic as Anna worked at his neck, before moving her mouth to whisper words of encouragement of her own in his ear.

'There is no greater feeling in this world than of you and me like this. Of you inside me. Let it come, John.'

With one final thrust of his hip, a low moan escaped from John's lips as he emptied himself within Anna. As short, sharp breaths escaped him, Anna entwined the fingers of one hand in his hair, gently playing with it between her fore finger and thumb as John rested his head against her shoulder.

'That was incredible,' John finally gasped, lifting his head from it's resting place and kissing Anna lightly.

'It was,' Anna agreed with a nod of her head. 'How can you even think my head would be turned when we share moments like that? I could never desire anyone as much as I do you. Remember that. I love you.'

'I love you too, and I'm sorry. '

'Don't be, I should have been more sensitive to how my dancing with another man would make you feel.'

'I sounded like a spoilt child. I was foolish, I know that now.' Stepping away from Anna, John reached down to pull up his trousers as she set about putting herself straight. Once both were satisfied with their appearances, John took Anna's hand in his. 'We best get upstairs before people realise we are missing.'

Anna bent down to pick up John's cane, placing it in his free hand before John lead her to the door, her hand still in his. Resting his cane on his wrist, he felt Anna gently pressing the hand she was holding, trying to garner his attention.

'What is it?'

'John, were you smoking earlier?'

'Err...' John turned away from Anna, making towards the door once more.

'John Bates, I knew it. I could taste it.' Anna chided once more, letting go of his hand folding her arms. He had opened the door, looking out into the corridor to ensure there was nobody lurking outside. Satisfied the coast was clear, John stood aside to allow Anna to leave the room. 'Those things will be the death of you, you know that don't you?'

John smirked, a delicious expression that Anna would never grow tired of. He placed a hand on her hip as they stood on the threshold, stopping her from moving any further.

'Mrs Bates, after what we have just done, I am pretty sure you will be the death of me.'


End file.
